I’m afraid of going home

I’m afraid of going home
Freaky isn’t it?
It’s home,
There should’ve been no doubts,
No fears, no questions.

But the shaky feeling is inevitable.
And I’m done denying, it is fear.
This is not just unease, not just a reactionary response
I am afraid

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I’m afraid that eveything is different,
I’ve been away for too long
I’m afraid I don’t fit in anymore.

I’m afraid of not having things to do,
I sincerely hope the 9-to-5 activities I have
Are not the only things keeping me insane.

I’m afraid of being alone.
Stupid, isn’t it?
I shouldn’t have to,
Before this all my life was there,
And I vividly recall desperately longing for privacy.

I’m afraid that I don’t have friends anymore.
Again, I’ve been away for too long,
And life has a fashion to filter your friends.
What if I don’t have friends anymore?

And all this fear boils down to one point;
I’m afraid home is not home anymore.
I’ve been away for too long,
That I’m afraid my home has actually moved somewhere else.

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