The Invisible Battlefield: Why Are We Still Friends?

That small room could have been a battlefield, if any of the two have been honest. It’s all about the things that haven’t been spoken. Things they both might feel, but are reluctant to say.

“It’s been  long time since we met. I felt lonely. I needed you, but you were too busy.” I’m not important enough for you, you never have time for me. If you were here, life would’ve been more bearable, taken in and processed in small dossage instead of taken in and puked out when we met. “I wish I could see you more often and talk to you more often.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just so busy on workdays, by weekends all I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep.” And I can’t face this every weekend, I hate being around you. You’re draining every single energy out of me, you make me hate myself. I need to muster up enough spirit to be in your presence for 2 hours. Sometimes I feel you’re consistently clingy. “So how’s life? Bring me up to date.”

“You’re too busy. Thank heavens I’ve also been kind of busy. I went to places, travelled to peculiar places. I went to remote areas, visited the most interesting places and people. I was away for months, it was fun.” See, I do have a life besides waiting for you to come here. I deserve better than that nano-quota time you’re giving me. If I’m important, you would’ve make more time. You’re a bad friend, and I deserve better. I have a lot to give, and my life is more interesting than your 9-to-5 routine. “I cannot show you pictures though, those places I visited are really not places to which you want to bring cameras, cellphones, etc. So I can only share stories about my experiences.”

“I see.” Nod, make sure she believes that you’re actually buying everything she says. Silence the ‘yeah right’ sound in your head. Keep on chanting honey, cause that’s the only way to keep this relation intact. Why am I still friends with you when I have to take your words with a grain of salt? I hate that. Pathological liar, search on this later.

So the talk continued, ditto the friendship but the inner dialogues were full of word that must be left unsaid.


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